Well, another holiday has come and passed. (thank goodness) We had a mellow, kid oriented holiday since daddy is gone this year. He, unfortunately, was gone last year.. I think the girls think thats normal... anyways here are some video's of our morning. It was over in about 3 minutes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgs_WVesogk (first impressions)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz0MFvIwLXE (mid-present opening)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajt7tOZdYFo (the aftermath)
Here are some pictures, mixed in with general winter pictures also.
http://picasaweb.google.com/jeniferlawson0117/WinterInKatterbach?feat=directlink
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Carmens New Photo's
And last but not least I finally unloaded a full 500 pictures off of Carmens camera. Most she took herself, a few are Rosemary's doing. Either way they are fun. There are a few so they are loaded onto picasa also... enjoy!
Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow..
For the last couple of days its been snowing off and on. With the highs in the low twenties it continues to stay with us and accumulate. At this moment, it has started to snow, sideways, and the temp outside is a whole 6 degrees!!! Its supposed to be 40 by Wed. that will be a heat wave!
I took the girls out to play in it and took some pictures last night. You can find them on the picasa photo album here
I took the girls out to play in it and took some pictures last night. You can find them on the picasa photo album here
I also took some video of the girls running around, and you can see it here...
Bedroom Shuffle
At the beginning of October we ordered a bunkbed system for the girls. Delay after delay pushed our delivery date back. In my frustration I moved Rose into the toddler bed, knowing that she would only be in it for weeks (hopefully). Of course the day after I set it up I get the call that they finally are going to deliver the bunk beds. Oh well.
So Rose did really well with switching from her crib to the "big girl bed". She enjoyed the freedom it afforded, even if Carmen wasnt sure what to think of Rosemary getting into her face as soon as they were up in the morning.
Finally the beds arrived on the 15th. Thank goodness. It took the delivery guys over two hours to set it up.. yeah I dont know why either... but its set up and the girls love it.
I loaded a bunch of pictures onto picasa, so you can check them out here.
So Rose did really well with switching from her crib to the "big girl bed". She enjoyed the freedom it afforded, even if Carmen wasnt sure what to think of Rosemary getting into her face as soon as they were up in the morning.
Finally the beds arrived on the 15th. Thank goodness. It took the delivery guys over two hours to set it up.. yeah I dont know why either... but its set up and the girls love it.
I loaded a bunch of pictures onto picasa, so you can check them out here.
I also took a video of the girls playing on it, so here's that link
December Fun
Alright so the begining of December brings us right up to Carmens Birthday, its hard to believe but she turned 5!!! I didnt take any pictures, oops, only video's so you can see what we were up to anyways.
I decorated, well as much as I was willing to invest this year. We dont have a Christmas tree, and getting a real one out here seemed rather daunting. So I decided to make my own. I ended up wrapping our camera tripod with garland, then lights and bows. It isnt strong enough for 90% of my ornaments... but the girls believe its a tree, and I did it for them.
I decorated, well as much as I was willing to invest this year. We dont have a Christmas tree, and getting a real one out here seemed rather daunting. So I decided to make my own. I ended up wrapping our camera tripod with garland, then lights and bows. It isnt strong enough for 90% of my ornaments... but the girls believe its a tree, and I did it for them.
Oops
I just realised I havent updated this in over a month... and I have alot to update, so I will try to catch up everyone as best I can.
To make being away from daddy easier on the girls I made "daddy bears"...get it, instead of teddy, its daddy? anyways. The girls seem to like them. I made them large and slightly flat so they can be used as pillows if so desired. I also put some of Jims cologne inside the belly so when they hug it, it smells like daddy.
First off, Jim deployed to Iraq middle of November. We were sad to see him go again, and its been an emotional rollercoaster since he left. But we are trying to trudge forward best we can. We took these the morning he left.
Thanksgiving was mellow, I made tv dinners (heehee) for the girls and I. They went to bed early and I watched old movies.
To make being away from daddy easier on the girls I made "daddy bears"...get it, instead of teddy, its daddy? anyways. The girls seem to like them. I made them large and slightly flat so they can be used as pillows if so desired. I also put some of Jims cologne inside the belly so when they hug it, it smells like daddy.
here are two videos of the girls playing with the bears.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEDW6sM7Lkk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InT5VX-0Z3U
I think the brings us to December... we didnt really do much other than just get by the end of December.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Diva's in the Making
We took Carmen in to get her hair cut today. It was very much needed, her cute bob cut was becoming a scraggly mass of knots. She took it like a pro and practiced her "pretending to be a statue" while keeping her head down. The look came out adorable, and she was more than willing to show it off. She knows she's cute, thats for sure!
Rosemary jumped into the chair after Carmen got out of it and wanted ot have her hair cut too. I wasnt planning on doing it, but why not? She fought the hair apron, but once I got her sidetracked with my camera (which she stole and then took pictures with) she was having a blast. She looks cute as always and I cant wait to see her curls get curly after her next bath!
Rosemary jumped into the chair after Carmen got out of it and wanted ot have her hair cut too. I wasnt planning on doing it, but why not? She fought the hair apron, but once I got her sidetracked with my camera (which she stole and then took pictures with) she was having a blast. She looks cute as always and I cant wait to see her curls get curly after her next bath!
Afterwards, her new haircut going on, Daddy gave her a pickle and she wanted to show off her pink boots... cant live without the pink boots!
Rosemary Surprises
The other day Rose decided that she wanted to scare us. So she proceeded to yell "boo!" from across the room and then giggle when we would react. I caught it on video. Carmen woke up to this and wandered out, Rose wanted to get her in on it but Carmen ended up turning right around and going back to bed. lol!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFikkaMyJBk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFikkaMyJBk
Daddy Time Part II
As before, we are trying to make sure the girls get alot of Daddy Face Time. This weekend I set up the girls tent and sent him in to investigate what the girls were giggling about.
He kept yelling that he couldnt breath in there, the girls spent all day and didnt seem to have a problem. They did however, come out sweaty, smiling, and hungry!! Grilled Cheese to the Rescue!!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Daddy Time
With Jims deployment looming nearer and nearer we are trying to make a point of having more "daddy time". This morning was no exception. I took a video, its adorable, but long so I loaded it onto youtube, here is the link.
And a picture of the moment...
Halloween Happiness
Well, we lived through it. The girls had a blast, and the traditional temper tantrums have been dealt with. So now we can put this holiday to rest for another year.
On the 30th we made our way to a battalion holiday party that the girls got to dress up for. They decorated cupcakes and ran around in circles. We stayed for about 30 minutes and it was anti-climatic to say the least. Here are a few pictures from that night. Carmen became camera shy all of a sudden so I took a short video of that.
Rosemary refused to wear her witch costume so she ended up going as a "spoiled brat". But she did invent a new way of eating cupcakes, here is the video for that too.
The next day we did venture out into the chilly night to trick or treat in the neighborhood. Each apartment building had a stairwell that you could go to. Most had people at the bottom of the stair to hand out candy so that made it a little faster. Since the girls are young we got away with skipping the others. Our building actually created a haunted house. Jim and Carmen went through it and Carmen enjoyed it completely!! Rosemary had never trick or treated before so when she held up her pumpkin and got candy she was extremely excited. She kept saying "mommy I trick treat! got candy!!" adorable. I think she shook most of her candy out of her pumpkin out of excitement. Too cute. Jim came up with a good idea to keep the path lit for the girls and not have to intrust our flashlights to the girls. He put them in the pumpkins and so the pumpkins became lights themselves. The girls loved it and we were stopped a few times to explain what we did and how it worked. Jim was very proud of himself.
Of course, the evening ended in screams, tears and time outs. About 10:30pm the fire alarm went off in our building so we had to grab the girls and carry them outside. Come to find out the smoke machine from the basement haunted house set it off. I was less than impressed (carmen doesnt do well when her sleep is interupted and she has actually had two siezures already this morning) But after making our way back up, the girls curled up and went back to sleep. The firedepartment showed up and finally turned off the alarm and all went back to normal.... well at least as normal as grown adults wandering around singing off key at 11pm can be. (gotta love military living!)
Here are the pictures I did get from the evening, my camera fogged over when we got back and so it took some cool pictures. I didnt realise I got any good shots of the girls in their outfits till this morning, oops, bad mommy.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Slides, Swings and Slippery Leaves
Last weekend we took advantange of a "nice" day and headed to the playground. Jim and I both were fighting off a cold, but it was either take the kids out and let them run around or kill them... :0)
Oh and yes, they have matching jackets and yes... they are Dora.. I know, I really fought this one but we had a limited selection to choose from, and they both needed jackets... And you cant get one a Dora coat and not get the other one one.. It has actually worked in my favor, they are like mini beacons, I can see them for miles, and can take mental stock of where they are at with in seconds. (Gotta look at the bright side when talking about Dora)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6FUFcUko9Y
this is the first video, its the girls spinning... on the spinning thing. :0)
Oh and yes, they have matching jackets and yes... they are Dora.. I know, I really fought this one but we had a limited selection to choose from, and they both needed jackets... And you cant get one a Dora coat and not get the other one one.. It has actually worked in my favor, they are like mini beacons, I can see them for miles, and can take mental stock of where they are at with in seconds. (Gotta look at the bright side when talking about Dora)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6FUFcUko9Y
this is the first video, its the girls spinning... on the spinning thing. :0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Sh-XiMYd6A
This is Carmen on the zipper-thingy. Jim rode it later (didnt get a video) but he did almost drag his bottom on the ground, quite entertaining.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioNS3w7Aap8
This is Jims video with his commentary, its a long one so might take some time to load. But still worth the watch.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Garmisch Germany
This weekend we headed to Garmisch, its a cute little resort town. Its at the base of the Alps with some of the prettiest mountains to be seen. We went for a few days "away" and to take some family pictures. It was supposed to be a rainy cold weekend, but it, luckily for us, turned out to be partly sunny and cloudy. It rained in the afternoons but even that wasnt all the time.
The drive was three hours long. And I don't think it is possible to do it shorter, Jim averaged about 100 mph's most of the way. Now we were on the autobahn, but the world flew by! We also got lost because the gps wanted to take us on a unmarked, unpaved road.. but we were close, in the right valley, just not a real street.
The hotel itself is a nice retreat to go to. It was right in the heart of things and it had three places to eat. It had a pool, spa, and hot tub and a parking lot in the basement (which was surprisingly nice!) The room was average american size and style. It was a military hotel so everyone spoke english (a nice perk) and everyone was just trying to get their time away from work the same way.
We had a lovely time, even managed to make it out into the mountains to take family pictures. We got a few great shots and you will be seeing them on our christmas cards this year. The ones we didnt choose you can see on our picasa web album (I will post the link below) The scenery was amazing, the mountains is something Jim and I both love so it was easy to just sit back and enjoy.
The girls were typical, we wanted to bind and gag them within minutes of leaving the house, but we worked our way through and they returned to the house alive. :0)
We have plans for the "next" trip, when that will be, we dont know yet... but its worth it for sure.
So check out our pictures!
http://picasaweb.google.com/jeniferlawson0117/GarmischGermany?feat=directlink
The drive was three hours long. And I don't think it is possible to do it shorter, Jim averaged about 100 mph's most of the way. Now we were on the autobahn, but the world flew by! We also got lost because the gps wanted to take us on a unmarked, unpaved road.. but we were close, in the right valley, just not a real street.
The hotel itself is a nice retreat to go to. It was right in the heart of things and it had three places to eat. It had a pool, spa, and hot tub and a parking lot in the basement (which was surprisingly nice!) The room was average american size and style. It was a military hotel so everyone spoke english (a nice perk) and everyone was just trying to get their time away from work the same way.
We had a lovely time, even managed to make it out into the mountains to take family pictures. We got a few great shots and you will be seeing them on our christmas cards this year. The ones we didnt choose you can see on our picasa web album (I will post the link below) The scenery was amazing, the mountains is something Jim and I both love so it was easy to just sit back and enjoy.
The girls were typical, we wanted to bind and gag them within minutes of leaving the house, but we worked our way through and they returned to the house alive. :0)
We have plans for the "next" trip, when that will be, we dont know yet... but its worth it for sure.
So check out our pictures!
http://picasaweb.google.com/jeniferlawson0117/GarmischGermany?feat=directlink
Sunday, October 4, 2009
brought you to by the letter of the day!
We headed back up to Grafenwohr today for a Sesame Street concert. It was a fun day, tiring but still fun!.
First we had lunch up there, then did some needed shopping at the HUGE PX! Around 2pm we rolled into the parking lot for the show at 3pm. We figured we would hang in the parking lot till it got closer to time as it was chilly and windy outside. But there was already a line around the block! We were late, as it would seem. We jumped in line and started making plans on how to explain to Carmen that there wasnt room and she wasnt going to get to see Elmo.
Luckily there was room, we ended up sitting on the gym floor. The USO was running the show so we got a nifty USO scarf and a sesame street light/wand thing. The kids loved it and didnt put them down till bed time tonight. (and that was a struggle)
A few minutes later the show started and away we went. Five of the popular characters were there, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Grover, Zoe and Rosita. They ran, jumped and sang, all of five songs. Yeah, it was over in 30 minutes. The parents were relieved to have fulfilled their obligation but the kids were surprised to be leaving so soon. Oh well, they will live. :0) As will mine. Carmen talked all the way home about how she loved Elmo and how much she loved seeing him, and how he was singing to her. Adorable!
They asked us not to video tap so I didn't but before they made that announcement I got this cool video of all the kids playing with their elmo wands.
Here is the last one, its the closing of the show, it still pretty dark in there so you cant make out all the faces, but Carmen was signing with all of her heart, she had such a good time!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The dog ate it, wait, no that was Carmen
September 29,2009
At 1pm my daughter Carmen called me into her room where she was supposed to be napping. She told me that her necklace was giving her throat “owwies”. I looked for marks that she had it on too tightly but couldnt find anything. I asked her where her necklace was right now and she pointed to her throat. I quickly looked over her bedroom to find said necklace without any luck. She had indeed eaten the necklace.
Now this was at least 18 inches long and held 40-50 beads on it. The thread was a thick woven style designed for making the ever fashionable friendship bracelets. The beads were the cheap plastic kind found in any kids grab bag of beads. This interesting appetizer started out as a prize Carmen had earned on day. She and I had sat down and created it together.
As we return to the story I was calling Jim, the clinic, and finally making the desicion to head to the local ER. A german ER. Carmen was chipper and excited to go for a car ride, daddy included. I had called and asked if he could come with.
So the first doctor we see says essentially if it was a smaller item or metalic they would just let it pass, but since it was a lengthy piece we were to go out to Nuremberg and see what they could do out there. The run down was, they would take an x-ray and see if could see the plastic and or knock her out and go in with a light scope down her throat and pull it out. Now that is only possible if she hadn’t digested it.
The trip out was an intense one. Jim and I were tense and flaberghasted at our situation. Carmen and Rosemary played, laughed, and sang the 45 minutes it took to get to Nuremberg Hallerwiesse Hospital.
Fast forward, they take an x-ray which of course shows nothing. It was a slim chance but one still worth taking. They admit us and let us know it will be hours before there is an opening and we will be spending the night. Yippee. Now keep in mind most of these doctors dont speak good english or any at all. So explaining Carmens whole medical history, including the current situation was rather sticky at times. All of this ended up being communicated through guesses in languages and an incredibly large amount of sign language.
Jim leaves with Rose to head home and Carmen and I settle in or a long wait. Sooner than expected they call us, and downstairs we go. Carmen enjoyed the “bed ride” and was even cool about them putting numbing gel onto her hands. That would be the extent of Cool Carmens interaction for the next 24 hours.
I sat there praying for a safe procedure, a quick one and for this nightmare to be over. But a certain prayer crept into my thoughts, if this is the last time I get to see her on this earth, I pray that she would know that I love her with all my heart, and I did only what I thought was best for her.
They gave her a drinkable medicine to help her fall asleep. It didnt do much, she was on full alert the whole time. When she wouldnt let anyone put a hair cap on her they brought in a syringe, handed it to me and told me to squirt half up each nostrile. I was shocked, I had never done more than hold and help calm her. But I tried and she totally flew off the handle. I tried again and again, finally after a few moments I managed to get most of it up there. She freaked to a new level involving 4 adults and myself to keep her on the table.
I hugged her tight, talked to her and watched as they unsuccessfully poked her hand twice and then went to her thigh for another try to get an iv going. I was started to protest but she lifted us all in her own protest and they backed off deciding waiting for the medicine to take full affect would be best. (duh)
For the next 4 minutes she sat cradled in my arms crying to go home, and for me to save her. All I could do is tell her I was there and that it was going to be alright. As she was slipping under I got first hand account of what it must be like for the parents of Autistic children, a truly blank stare, I knew she wasnt focusing on me, she kept calling for me but looking right at me. She only recognised my voice. What a horrible moment. She moaned and cried for me for a few last time, even mouthed it and then she was asleep. I untangled myself and gave her to God and to the sea of doctors in green before me.
They repeated a montra I have heard manytimes since having a kid. “its worse than it seams, she wont remember any of this, its gonna be alright” At that moment in space and time there are not reassurances of anything, only my belief that God was watching over my little girl, whether we be in the USA’s or in Germany.
I let a few tears escape as I headed back upstairs to wait it out. A frazzled American crying wandering the halls of a German hospital is not a pretty sight. I’ve been there, last month actually, done that.
So once in my room I took my phone and headed to the balcony. We were sharing a room with an older teenager and she was sleeping.
I called Jim, filled him in and made a few requests. Please put the chicken I was thawing back in the fridge. Call my mom and let her know what is up and call our Tricare liason to coordinate for the next day. (Ironically we were scheduled to be at this particular hospital the next day for a routine EEG for Carmen and they needed to know that we were already there.) He did, and asked me how things were progressing. I informed him that she was in surgery, it was horrible but I couldnt expand more on that for the time being. I needed to keep what threads I had left tightly wound for Carmens sake. I couldnt fall apart just yet.
I sat down and started writing (as my form of therapy) and waited. It was an hour later that the doctor came in and told me she was OK. He kept going on about what the procedure was like and all I wanted to hear was that she was alive and well. She was (deep breath), unfortunately the necklace had already passed into her bowels/intestines and they were unable to retreave it. I asked about twisting up her insides and he said it wasnt likely because the part they worry about the most is at the opening of the stomach to the bowels, if it makes it past there then we are in the clear, so to speak. She should eat alot of fiber and fruit and I get to go on poop patrol. Fun times. She was still sleeping and would wake up downstairs in an hour or two. I immediately asked to go and see her, he agreed and down I went.
Finally seeing her was a huge relief. Like I couldnt believe anyone, I had to see her with my own eyes that she was alright and breathing. She was out, drooling on the bed. She was hooked up to various machines with her hair plastered to her face but a more beautiful cherub ever? Nope, plain and simple the best site in the world. With my last concerns and questions taken care of by the unlucky nurses passing by our room, all is well for the moment.
There I sat, two stories under the earth listening to my little hellian snoring lightly, harmonizing with the machines and closing of doors. Seven hours into this adventure and many more to go. Praise God, my little one is safe and with me. ~Sept. 29, 2009 at 8pm
Sept. 30, 2009 at 12:30pm
A peaceful evening is all one can ask for, whether that wish will be granted or not is hugely dependant on people known of for their lack of judgement. Last night that request was far from answered.
Carmen came out of sedation around 8:30pm but wasnt coherant enought yet to be moved back to our room till about 9:30pm.
She was happy to be wheeled back up the elevator, but unimpressed that she still had to have an IV in her arm. That particular struggle would last the rest of our time in the hospital. She was crabby and awake, unfortunately for everyone around her. She wasnt coaxed back to sleep till midnight and then it was a rough sleep. She kept crying, moaning and calling for me. I spent half of the night on my cot in the corner and the other half laying beside her in comfort mode.
At 5am her internal clock turned on and we were awake. Fully awake, with all the giggles, talking and sqwirming that goes along with it.
She wanted to chat, read books and talk about everything, including a serious discussion about whether she had lost daddy or not. She wouldnt take it from me that he was home watching Rosemary, she was certain she had lost him.
As the morning progressed we found out that Carmen would go in for her EEG early, we were already there anyways. We needed to do bloodwork and an iron check. They sent a poor solitary soul to take her iron. I tried to warn her that Carmen wouldnt sit still for this, or even make it easy. She ignored me and went ahead. I ended up laying across Carmen trying to keep her from ripping out her IV in her persuit to stop the nurse from getting any blood from her. Not surprising, it was unsuccessful.
The next event was around 10am, we went for the EEG. This being her 4th one, you would think she would be cool with everything that goes into this, not so. She cried, whined and eventually ripped out half of the electrodes that were attached to her head. We finally got what we needed, but it took twice as long to get it.
Once back in our room, she gets settled down and they call us in for the blood work. Again I warn them she will fight, scream and do anything she can manage to get out of this. They bring in three nurses, really these people just dont listen, not nearly enough body weight to hold her down. I end up on her again, they didnt get a clean sample and I am sure I will have ringing in my ears for days.
In walks daddy and all is better. (I wish I had a little of that magic) they sit down for a chat, we set up a much needed movie and chill to wait for the appointment time to see the neurologist.
While we wait we are informed that they will have to take another iron sample along with a clean sample to compare it to the bloodwork to make sure everything worked out ok. I looked at Jim and told him that its time to jump in. He has never had to hold her, listen to her scream, or deal with the real terror that is on her face. From what Jim reported back, they new of her “issues” with needles and so surprised her with it before she could work herself into a lather. She still screamed after the fact, because it wouldnt be Carmen if a few ear drums werent damaged. But they got what they needed and for once I didnt have to be the bad guy.
We met up with our patient liason (translator), Helga, who I just feel in love with. She is funny, nice, understanding and fluent in both english and german... She was truly amazing, she jumped right in and even made plans to help me with the next steps in Carmens care. With her standing beside me we met the neurologist and discussed results and plans. We are going to up Carmens med twice in the next two weeks and if that doesnt get her seizure free we are going to try some new tactics. A little scary, but after what we have been through so far, its worth it to get her seizure free.
So come 2:30pm we were on our way out of the hospital heading home. Jim had to head to work, so he sped most of the way... I was too tired to put much fight into it and just gave up and closed my eyes. The girls slept most of the way, they needed it.
Well, another chapter has been written in the life and times of the Lawson Girls. Not a pretty one, or even a quiet one, but still some day it will be a funny side note. Oh, speaking of funny outcomes. Jim pulled me aside at the hospital and informed me that he had found the supposed necklace that Carmen had eaten. Yeah I know... I dont think she is a complete liar because I heard her gag right before she called me into her room and was actually on my way in there to check on her. So what does she actually have in her? Well, I am still on poop patrol so I should be able to tell you next week... not that you will want to know, not that I really want to know. kids.....
At 1pm my daughter Carmen called me into her room where she was supposed to be napping. She told me that her necklace was giving her throat “owwies”. I looked for marks that she had it on too tightly but couldnt find anything. I asked her where her necklace was right now and she pointed to her throat. I quickly looked over her bedroom to find said necklace without any luck. She had indeed eaten the necklace.
Now this was at least 18 inches long and held 40-50 beads on it. The thread was a thick woven style designed for making the ever fashionable friendship bracelets. The beads were the cheap plastic kind found in any kids grab bag of beads. This interesting appetizer started out as a prize Carmen had earned on day. She and I had sat down and created it together.
As we return to the story I was calling Jim, the clinic, and finally making the desicion to head to the local ER. A german ER. Carmen was chipper and excited to go for a car ride, daddy included. I had called and asked if he could come with.
So the first doctor we see says essentially if it was a smaller item or metalic they would just let it pass, but since it was a lengthy piece we were to go out to Nuremberg and see what they could do out there. The run down was, they would take an x-ray and see if could see the plastic and or knock her out and go in with a light scope down her throat and pull it out. Now that is only possible if she hadn’t digested it.
The trip out was an intense one. Jim and I were tense and flaberghasted at our situation. Carmen and Rosemary played, laughed, and sang the 45 minutes it took to get to Nuremberg Hallerwiesse Hospital.
Fast forward, they take an x-ray which of course shows nothing. It was a slim chance but one still worth taking. They admit us and let us know it will be hours before there is an opening and we will be spending the night. Yippee. Now keep in mind most of these doctors dont speak good english or any at all. So explaining Carmens whole medical history, including the current situation was rather sticky at times. All of this ended up being communicated through guesses in languages and an incredibly large amount of sign language.
Jim leaves with Rose to head home and Carmen and I settle in or a long wait. Sooner than expected they call us, and downstairs we go. Carmen enjoyed the “bed ride” and was even cool about them putting numbing gel onto her hands. That would be the extent of Cool Carmens interaction for the next 24 hours.
I sat there praying for a safe procedure, a quick one and for this nightmare to be over. But a certain prayer crept into my thoughts, if this is the last time I get to see her on this earth, I pray that she would know that I love her with all my heart, and I did only what I thought was best for her.
They gave her a drinkable medicine to help her fall asleep. It didnt do much, she was on full alert the whole time. When she wouldnt let anyone put a hair cap on her they brought in a syringe, handed it to me and told me to squirt half up each nostrile. I was shocked, I had never done more than hold and help calm her. But I tried and she totally flew off the handle. I tried again and again, finally after a few moments I managed to get most of it up there. She freaked to a new level involving 4 adults and myself to keep her on the table.
I hugged her tight, talked to her and watched as they unsuccessfully poked her hand twice and then went to her thigh for another try to get an iv going. I was started to protest but she lifted us all in her own protest and they backed off deciding waiting for the medicine to take full affect would be best. (duh)
For the next 4 minutes she sat cradled in my arms crying to go home, and for me to save her. All I could do is tell her I was there and that it was going to be alright. As she was slipping under I got first hand account of what it must be like for the parents of Autistic children, a truly blank stare, I knew she wasnt focusing on me, she kept calling for me but looking right at me. She only recognised my voice. What a horrible moment. She moaned and cried for me for a few last time, even mouthed it and then she was asleep. I untangled myself and gave her to God and to the sea of doctors in green before me.
They repeated a montra I have heard manytimes since having a kid. “its worse than it seams, she wont remember any of this, its gonna be alright” At that moment in space and time there are not reassurances of anything, only my belief that God was watching over my little girl, whether we be in the USA’s or in Germany.
I let a few tears escape as I headed back upstairs to wait it out. A frazzled American crying wandering the halls of a German hospital is not a pretty sight. I’ve been there, last month actually, done that.
So once in my room I took my phone and headed to the balcony. We were sharing a room with an older teenager and she was sleeping.
I called Jim, filled him in and made a few requests. Please put the chicken I was thawing back in the fridge. Call my mom and let her know what is up and call our Tricare liason to coordinate for the next day. (Ironically we were scheduled to be at this particular hospital the next day for a routine EEG for Carmen and they needed to know that we were already there.) He did, and asked me how things were progressing. I informed him that she was in surgery, it was horrible but I couldnt expand more on that for the time being. I needed to keep what threads I had left tightly wound for Carmens sake. I couldnt fall apart just yet.
I sat down and started writing (as my form of therapy) and waited. It was an hour later that the doctor came in and told me she was OK. He kept going on about what the procedure was like and all I wanted to hear was that she was alive and well. She was (deep breath), unfortunately the necklace had already passed into her bowels/intestines and they were unable to retreave it. I asked about twisting up her insides and he said it wasnt likely because the part they worry about the most is at the opening of the stomach to the bowels, if it makes it past there then we are in the clear, so to speak. She should eat alot of fiber and fruit and I get to go on poop patrol. Fun times. She was still sleeping and would wake up downstairs in an hour or two. I immediately asked to go and see her, he agreed and down I went.
Finally seeing her was a huge relief. Like I couldnt believe anyone, I had to see her with my own eyes that she was alright and breathing. She was out, drooling on the bed. She was hooked up to various machines with her hair plastered to her face but a more beautiful cherub ever? Nope, plain and simple the best site in the world. With my last concerns and questions taken care of by the unlucky nurses passing by our room, all is well for the moment.
There I sat, two stories under the earth listening to my little hellian snoring lightly, harmonizing with the machines and closing of doors. Seven hours into this adventure and many more to go. Praise God, my little one is safe and with me. ~Sept. 29, 2009 at 8pm
Sept. 30, 2009 at 12:30pm
A peaceful evening is all one can ask for, whether that wish will be granted or not is hugely dependant on people known of for their lack of judgement. Last night that request was far from answered.
Carmen came out of sedation around 8:30pm but wasnt coherant enought yet to be moved back to our room till about 9:30pm.
She was happy to be wheeled back up the elevator, but unimpressed that she still had to have an IV in her arm. That particular struggle would last the rest of our time in the hospital. She was crabby and awake, unfortunately for everyone around her. She wasnt coaxed back to sleep till midnight and then it was a rough sleep. She kept crying, moaning and calling for me. I spent half of the night on my cot in the corner and the other half laying beside her in comfort mode.
At 5am her internal clock turned on and we were awake. Fully awake, with all the giggles, talking and sqwirming that goes along with it.
She wanted to chat, read books and talk about everything, including a serious discussion about whether she had lost daddy or not. She wouldnt take it from me that he was home watching Rosemary, she was certain she had lost him.
As the morning progressed we found out that Carmen would go in for her EEG early, we were already there anyways. We needed to do bloodwork and an iron check. They sent a poor solitary soul to take her iron. I tried to warn her that Carmen wouldnt sit still for this, or even make it easy. She ignored me and went ahead. I ended up laying across Carmen trying to keep her from ripping out her IV in her persuit to stop the nurse from getting any blood from her. Not surprising, it was unsuccessful.
The next event was around 10am, we went for the EEG. This being her 4th one, you would think she would be cool with everything that goes into this, not so. She cried, whined and eventually ripped out half of the electrodes that were attached to her head. We finally got what we needed, but it took twice as long to get it.
Once back in our room, she gets settled down and they call us in for the blood work. Again I warn them she will fight, scream and do anything she can manage to get out of this. They bring in three nurses, really these people just dont listen, not nearly enough body weight to hold her down. I end up on her again, they didnt get a clean sample and I am sure I will have ringing in my ears for days.
In walks daddy and all is better. (I wish I had a little of that magic) they sit down for a chat, we set up a much needed movie and chill to wait for the appointment time to see the neurologist.
While we wait we are informed that they will have to take another iron sample along with a clean sample to compare it to the bloodwork to make sure everything worked out ok. I looked at Jim and told him that its time to jump in. He has never had to hold her, listen to her scream, or deal with the real terror that is on her face. From what Jim reported back, they new of her “issues” with needles and so surprised her with it before she could work herself into a lather. She still screamed after the fact, because it wouldnt be Carmen if a few ear drums werent damaged. But they got what they needed and for once I didnt have to be the bad guy.
We met up with our patient liason (translator), Helga, who I just feel in love with. She is funny, nice, understanding and fluent in both english and german... She was truly amazing, she jumped right in and even made plans to help me with the next steps in Carmens care. With her standing beside me we met the neurologist and discussed results and plans. We are going to up Carmens med twice in the next two weeks and if that doesnt get her seizure free we are going to try some new tactics. A little scary, but after what we have been through so far, its worth it to get her seizure free.
So come 2:30pm we were on our way out of the hospital heading home. Jim had to head to work, so he sped most of the way... I was too tired to put much fight into it and just gave up and closed my eyes. The girls slept most of the way, they needed it.
Well, another chapter has been written in the life and times of the Lawson Girls. Not a pretty one, or even a quiet one, but still some day it will be a funny side note. Oh, speaking of funny outcomes. Jim pulled me aside at the hospital and informed me that he had found the supposed necklace that Carmen had eaten. Yeah I know... I dont think she is a complete liar because I heard her gag right before she called me into her room and was actually on my way in there to check on her. So what does she actually have in her? Well, I am still on poop patrol so I should be able to tell you next week... not that you will want to know, not that I really want to know. kids.....
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Growing a family... tree that is.
I have always wanted to paint a family tree, always meant to do it but just didnt have the right wall, or have known we would be moving soon.
But as we have a large empty wall AND will be staying in this apartment for three years, I thought it was time to finally paint my family tree.
I started searching the internet for other peoples ideas and designs but couldnt find something that really spoke to me. So I decided to draw my own. I knew I wanted it to be two trees intertwining together ( to symbolize two people coming together). I eventually decided I wanted the trees to create a heart shape, again to symbolize what the growing of the two trees together created (love, *ahhh sigh* sappy I know)
Once I have it completely, completely finished I will add that to the list. But for now? Onto another project... Just wait to see what I come up with!!
But as we have a large empty wall AND will be staying in this apartment for three years, I thought it was time to finally paint my family tree.
I started searching the internet for other peoples ideas and designs but couldnt find something that really spoke to me. So I decided to draw my own. I knew I wanted it to be two trees intertwining together ( to symbolize two people coming together). I eventually decided I wanted the trees to create a heart shape, again to symbolize what the growing of the two trees together created (love, *ahhh sigh* sappy I know)
This is the original design drawing I made, along with all of my notes or thoughts on this project.
Once I have it completely, completely finished I will add that to the list. But for now? Onto another project... Just wait to see what I come up with!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
bubbles
The other day we got the girls little bubble whistles. Jim wasnt sure I would like having the noisy things around, but they have turned out to be the perfect way to keep the kids in line. I over used it while we were at the hospital. "Be good or we arent going to blow thomas bubbles when we get home". It totally rocked!!
Well, this afternoon I finally had to follow with my promise. And it turned out to be alot of fun for all. The girls enjoyed the simple pleasure of creating bubbles and I enjoyed their laughter. Its the simple things in life right?
I took a video and a couple of pictures. You can find the pictures here
http://picasaweb.google.com/jeniferlawson0117/Bubbles?feat=directlink
Well, this afternoon I finally had to follow with my promise. And it turned out to be alot of fun for all. The girls enjoyed the simple pleasure of creating bubbles and I enjoyed their laughter. Its the simple things in life right?
I took a video and a couple of pictures. You can find the pictures here
http://picasaweb.google.com/jeniferlawson0117/Bubbles?feat=directlink
German Doctors
As you all know, Carmen has some issues. Well we finally met her primary physican the other day. She said the the first neurologist we met was close, but not a pediatric neurologist, which is what we really need for Carmen so she switched us. No big deal right? They just did a German EEG last month, simple deal.
Not really, the new guys wanted their own one and they wanted Carmen to fall asleep.. well you know her, she freaks out at the EEG's and she sleeps.. well never! So they said to expect to spend the night. I told them that I had another child and they were like... can you leave it at home? LOL... yeah... sure why not?
So, Monday morning I get a call that they want me in at noon for an EEG for Carmen and prepare to spend the night in case it doesnt work well and they have to sleep deprive her. Fun times.. let me tell ya. So I through her paperwork, my trusty gps and a change of clothes and off we go.
Now the new guys are in Nuremberg which is about an hours drive away, its in the east side of the oooollllddd downtown. So I got lost a couple of times, this is where I love my gps, it didnt yell at me this time, it just treated me like a stupid person and kept recalculating my directions everytime I took a wrong turn.
We get there and do the first EEG, of course she didnt sleep so they call upstairs and order us a room. After dealing with wiggly screaming kids, trying to understand broken up english with thick german accents, following nurse after nurse around an NON-AC'ed hospital I was ready to cry by the time we made it to our room. I called Jim to let him know we would be staying the night and he got to hear the whole thing through my tears (poor guy). The german mothers that we shared a room with where staring at me when I hung up and turned around.. Germans are totally cool with getting nosy in your business... so I learned... and they were probably wondering what was wrong with the freaky american in their hospital.
After things settled down I took a short video of our room and situation, its below.
Not really, the new guys wanted their own one and they wanted Carmen to fall asleep.. well you know her, she freaks out at the EEG's and she sleeps.. well never! So they said to expect to spend the night. I told them that I had another child and they were like... can you leave it at home? LOL... yeah... sure why not?
So, Monday morning I get a call that they want me in at noon for an EEG for Carmen and prepare to spend the night in case it doesnt work well and they have to sleep deprive her. Fun times.. let me tell ya. So I through her paperwork, my trusty gps and a change of clothes and off we go.
Now the new guys are in Nuremberg which is about an hours drive away, its in the east side of the oooollllddd downtown. So I got lost a couple of times, this is where I love my gps, it didnt yell at me this time, it just treated me like a stupid person and kept recalculating my directions everytime I took a wrong turn.
We get there and do the first EEG, of course she didnt sleep so they call upstairs and order us a room. After dealing with wiggly screaming kids, trying to understand broken up english with thick german accents, following nurse after nurse around an NON-AC'ed hospital I was ready to cry by the time we made it to our room. I called Jim to let him know we would be staying the night and he got to hear the whole thing through my tears (poor guy). The german mothers that we shared a room with where staring at me when I hung up and turned around.. Germans are totally cool with getting nosy in your business... so I learned... and they were probably wondering what was wrong with the freaky american in their hospital.
After things settled down I took a short video of our room and situation, its below.
The afternoon was rather uneventful. Other than my bright idea to bring my laptop so the girls can watch movies.. I forgot that my power source is an USA power source and doesnt work in german outlets.. so they got to watch about a movie and a half.
That night we settled down and I tried to get the girls to sleep. Unfortunately there were people in and out of the room, monitors beeping and it was 87 degrees.. no wind.. oh and i packed for cold weather because it was chilly when we left the house and in US hospitals its always on the cool side.. yeah note to self, plan to sweat when at the hospital.
The next morning we were woken up at 3am. Carmen and I played "go fish" for two hours before Rose woke up, we had breakfast and then Carmen went off to have her bloodwork done. That is a whole nother blog unto itself... lets just say that it got done. :0)
So Rose finally fell asleep while watching "Bob der Brewmeister" and yes that is pronounced how it is spelled... hahaha its the german version of bob the builder.
Carmen did take her EEG and she slept, I was so releived when the nurse told me she actually slept that I teared up.. (now remember i had been up since 3am, stressed out from trying to keep my kids under control so the other truly sick kids could rest, and the whole situation at large, oh and the language thing) We waited around for the results and our "consult" with the head doc of the hospital.
All in all, its the same prognosis that we had in the states. We keep doing what we are doing and hope that it helps. There is a 30-40% chance that she will never get rid of her seizures, that she will continue to try to control them, but for now we are just gonna pray that it will all work out.
So long long story short, we made it alive through that adventure. And if any of you write me and tell me its all an adventure and to enjoy every minute, I might have to get on a plane, come home just to slap you!! ;0) The last two days was not an adventure, it was a nightmare that I dont wish to repeat anytime soon. We got through it because we had to, but it doesnt mean I have to like everything that happens to us out here. But please enjoy my moment of zen.. I sure did.... (aka, the picture below)
Breakfast of Champions
When we got to Germany I had so many hopes and plans for what I would do with my experiences and how I would go about teaching my girls in the process. Much, well lets be honest, all of that has changed, notiably my hopes for a large garden out here. I have been forced to rethink my priorities and get creative. So, I created a small retreat for myself on our balcony. And well, I am adding to it all the time. But my happiest moments are in the mornings when I go out to water my plants and pick off herbs for scrambled eggs at breakfast time. Both girls know which plant is which, what they taste and smell like (and whether they are willing to eat it or not). They also know if they decide to pull them out I will have to kill them. But back to the story.
I also am having to accept that there arent any drive thru coffee shops out here. No, starbucks hasnt made it this far. There are good "mom-n-pop" shops, but they are all located downtown and you have to walk into to them for service. Now before you start writing and telling me I am lazy, think of it this way. The times I want coffee the most is in the mornings, before I accomplish much else. Plus I have two little kids.. very energetic kids... so ordering anything is difficult add to it the language barrier, yes I dont speak german yet.. I know, slacker, I have been here all of two months, what have I been doing with my time?? To save Jim and myself from killing each other from lack of caffine we purchased an espresso machine, we are still working out the finer points of the perfect cup of coffee, but let me say it has saved lives and our marriage many times over!
So these stories bring us to the main point of this particular post. I had the best breakfast last week, scrambled eggs with fresh herbs, and a lovely cup of carmel cappucino (sp?), it made for a productive day of unpacking, and avoiding learning German. :0)
Grafenwohr Picnic
Well last Sunday we were allowed to go and visit the soldiers up in Grafenwohr Training area. Now Graf is about a two hour drive northeast of where we are. I got to drive on the autobahn for most of that time. And let me just say, my car liked it ALOT!!! heehee. I did get lost on the way up there, my GPS wanted to take me off onto this "unmarked gravel road" in the mountain side.. I was like.. I dont think so. And turned around, thank goodness for a photographic memory or I would have been completely lost because my GPS kept screaming at me to turn around and go back. Long story short, we made it safely and thuroughly enjoyed the day. It was truly blessed. It was sunny and about 75 degree's and a nice cool breeze. We took a bunch of pictures that you can see at our picasa site.
http://picasaweb.google.com/jeniferlawson0117/GrafenwohrPicnic?feat=directlink
I took a short video below, and then Carmen took over, so I will add one of the few that she took.
After our lovely lunch we went for a drive to the local PX, which was HUGE!!!! And we got coffee... aaahhhh its the little things in life I tell ya. We ended up driving around and parking in a parking lot because the girls fell asleep, so Jim and I got to talk, which is always nice. He had to go back to work, so we left around 5pm and headed home.
The trip back was less exciting, but much needed. The girls slept most of the way.. well other than the part about crying for daddy.. but thats another topic for another day.
All in all, well worth the drive and headache. I was really happy we went!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
a modern day fairytale
In a distant land, in a time not so far from now sat a princess. Not a princess from lineage, but more from her attitude, demeaner, and outlook on life. She sat, shut up in a cement tower, slowly growing deaf from the constant rumble of her mechanical aerobatic watchmen.
She sat there because she was mad, mad at the world and the hand it delt her. The circumstances that led her to this solitary tower were all of good intention. But, alas, she sat lonely and bitter, seemingly cursed by desicions that were not in her power to make but shaped her life non the less.
It would seem our poor princess was thwarted at every turn by the King that ruled her one true loves life. Yes, she was one of the lucky few who felt they had found their soulmate, as cheesy as that might sound. She loved him, simply put. For the good, and especially for the bad. They were determined to make their lives better and to do it together. But the King wouldnt allow it.
As any self deserving princess would have it, she fell in love with a knight. Not a prince, please, she didnt want to fight anyone for primping time, and all princes were good for was looking pompous and saying the right thing at the right time. No, she wanted someone who fought for what he believed in, someone who would do the dirty work, and then bring her wild flowers he had found while at work. That was the man, the simple warrior to stand next to her for the rest of her life.
The King wasnt really all bad, but he didnt see the toll he was putting on his knights everytime he sent them into battle. These battles were long and grueling, and many good knights never made it home. They were fighting for something better, something bigger than themselves, but it still hurt everytime the lovers had to say goodbye.
As we join our princess, in her lonely tower, in a distant and unfamiliar land, she is realing from the news that once again she must say goodbye to her knight. They have a happy little life, content to make each other smile and to look after their two little ones. Pumpkin Pie and Snickerdoodle. These two little beauties completed the happy union, but being young, they didnt understand what it meant to have to say goodbye to the knight and no amount of reasoning would make it easier for them to grasp this.
So our princess sits in her tower worrying, worrying for her knights safety, for her little ones quality of life and for herself. How was she going to pull this off? She has never had her knight leave her alone in a foreign land, she didnt understand the natives and was rather overwhelmed with the situation at the moment.
He would be leaving her in a short three months, half of which he would be gone, training for battle. How was she going to keep her little ones happy and healthy, keep their tower running smoothly, and not let her knight worry about her? So many questions and no answers to be found.
We will catch up soon with our princess when she might have more answers, and hopefully not more questions.
She sat there because she was mad, mad at the world and the hand it delt her. The circumstances that led her to this solitary tower were all of good intention. But, alas, she sat lonely and bitter, seemingly cursed by desicions that were not in her power to make but shaped her life non the less.
It would seem our poor princess was thwarted at every turn by the King that ruled her one true loves life. Yes, she was one of the lucky few who felt they had found their soulmate, as cheesy as that might sound. She loved him, simply put. For the good, and especially for the bad. They were determined to make their lives better and to do it together. But the King wouldnt allow it.
As any self deserving princess would have it, she fell in love with a knight. Not a prince, please, she didnt want to fight anyone for primping time, and all princes were good for was looking pompous and saying the right thing at the right time. No, she wanted someone who fought for what he believed in, someone who would do the dirty work, and then bring her wild flowers he had found while at work. That was the man, the simple warrior to stand next to her for the rest of her life.
The King wasnt really all bad, but he didnt see the toll he was putting on his knights everytime he sent them into battle. These battles were long and grueling, and many good knights never made it home. They were fighting for something better, something bigger than themselves, but it still hurt everytime the lovers had to say goodbye.
As we join our princess, in her lonely tower, in a distant and unfamiliar land, she is realing from the news that once again she must say goodbye to her knight. They have a happy little life, content to make each other smile and to look after their two little ones. Pumpkin Pie and Snickerdoodle. These two little beauties completed the happy union, but being young, they didnt understand what it meant to have to say goodbye to the knight and no amount of reasoning would make it easier for them to grasp this.
So our princess sits in her tower worrying, worrying for her knights safety, for her little ones quality of life and for herself. How was she going to pull this off? She has never had her knight leave her alone in a foreign land, she didnt understand the natives and was rather overwhelmed with the situation at the moment.
He would be leaving her in a short three months, half of which he would be gone, training for battle. How was she going to keep her little ones happy and healthy, keep their tower running smoothly, and not let her knight worry about her? So many questions and no answers to be found.
We will catch up soon with our princess when she might have more answers, and hopefully not more questions.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Birthday Hopes
So, this is kind of a long story, but the short version is that Jim and I planned on taking the girls to the Gummy Bear Factory in the town about 30 minutes away to give us something fun and kid oriented for Rosemarys second birthday. We cruised their site before going trying to find times it was open and if they did tours. No such luck, we decided to just wing it.
So with that in mind we headed out this morning, breaking in our new GPS system, which totally rocked. We didnt get lost at all, which is a first for us. But, alas, the factory is closed on the weekends... yeah... I was surprised to. So where do we go from there? Well, we ended up grabbing lunch and taking the long way back home.
Yeah, it was less than impressive, but I got some pretty pictures of the local scenery.
Once home we headed out to the playgrounds that flank the back of our apartment buildings. I think we wandered through about 4, playing a little at each one before we decided to take the plunge and head inside for cake. I took random video of the playground too.
This is completely random, but its a cute one of the girls.
We videotaped Rose's birthday "party" and have some pictures from it too. She is so adorable, and so grown up!!! amazing.
Happy Birthday my little Rosemary!
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